We certainly consider that to live in the midst of ‘offense and defence’ as often happens in marriages is a serious error, with sons and daughters or in the family. To be within ‘walls and armour’, throwing poisonous darts everywhere, is really very difficult in every relationship. We believe that to be in this state of ‘mutual attack’, apart from generating lethal feelings, will also mean to crash against a wall of insensitivity and an accentuated lack of love.
To seek for ourselves a ‘pocket of comfort’ to apparently tranquilise ourselves from the multiple difficulties and stress that we may have, is not the best way to express the affection that we profess. Instead of finding a way to talk and to reflect as we should, we easily discharge our nerves, making others ‘our punch-bag’, doing this shows a certain amount of insensitivity, nastiness and even a certain type of emotional blackmail.
It is useful to understand that to achieve a healthy and lasting relationship it is never positive to bring into the light a list of past offenses and memories. In the case of disagreements or arguments, the best solution is to focus in the present and to dilute the differences, with comprehension and love, always looking with optimism to the future.
